For those of you who don't know, I love sci-fi.
In a previous life, I was an entertainment journalist, and have interview half of Red Dwarf, Matt Berry (from Moon, IT Crowd and many other things), and also Star Trek's Brent Spiner - AKA Data - from The Next Generation cast (on multiple occasions).
Anyway, with the new Picard series on the way, I've been thinking recently about a theory I came up with quite a while back - The Picard Theory.
And I thought it'd be fun to revisit/update it in light of the latest goings on. (Also, what better place to post this?!)
So, here goes...
Let’s switch our minds back to the Star Trek: TNG movie, Generations: How do Picard and Kirk ever manage to leave the Nexus?
It occurred to me that you never see the point where they leave, and you never see HOW they leave. Do they just decide to leave and there’s a big flashy exit sign? I don’t think so. It wouldn’t be that easy (see Appendix A).
So imagine this; Picard never leaves the Nexus, and everything after those planets + the Enterprise blowing up is just Picard’s Nexus fantasy.
First Contact, Insurrection, Nemesis and the rest? All just Picard’s Nexus fantasy.
How? First Contact, yeah it’s a bit of action, maybe he was getting a bit bored with all that Generations fluff.
Insurrection? Sure, he has a bit of fun. He's allowed it. It's a nice, peaceful film where not a lot seems to happen, but it's nice, innit.
In Nemesis, he’s just starting to get a bit creative, and THEN he becomes some form of God and decides to come up with a story so that he can go back to just near the good bit, and start from scratch!
All the following Star Trek films? Even the one Simon Pegg wrote that didn't have the best storyline? Guessed it: Picard’s Nexus fantasy. (He was getting a bit older and running out of ideas)
So, we have those other movies, then a series (Star Trek: Discovery - that ship never existed before and that's a bit too convenient, isn't it? ISN'T IT?)
The next thing you know, it's time for the new Picard series to come out. He's messing around in a vineyard (like he's always wanted) with a dog called No.1 and he's also brought back his best friend Data because he was feeling awfully guilty about that.
The plots become so ridiculous everything’s interchanged and intertwined, each character has a weird backstory and alternative parallel characters, that somehow correspond with the rest of the plot, everyone gets confused, Star Trek gets more popular than ever, then one day…
*THWACK!* Picard suddenly gets pulled out of the Nexus, the Enterprise crew have been saved and billions of kids who have grown up watching their favourite new Spock and Kirk and Discovery characters are absolutely bloody outraged – it’s ALL BEEN A DREAM THS ENTIRE TIME!
Appendix A: It is stated you can leave the Nexus any time and be spat out any place. Yes, but Picard wanted to get out and save the day, and that’s what the Nexus does! It gives you what you want. If it was that easy to get out then why was there such a big fuss and people getting dragged out looking like junkies on withdrawal?
Appendix B: But surely Picard wouldn’t want to see Kirk die like that? Of course he did. He wanted to be the only Enterprise Captain in the village (reference to Little Britain) and wanted the glory for himself.
What do you think? If this happened, would you be overjoyed? Outraged? Robbed?
I think I'd find it one of the funniest things in the world - but it ain't never gonna happen, because let's face it, Picard's Nexus Fantasy could quite conceivably go on forever.
Got more arguments? Come at me, bro.